Dear Warner Music; it was really rather irresponsible of you to allow the release of ‘Small Bump’. ‘Small Bump’ is the sort of song that will someone will name as the motive after going on a killing spree, it’s the sort of song that will cause people to crash their cars deliberately when it comes on the radio. You’d find the sickeningly sweet lyrics of ‘Small Bump’ smeared on the walls of a mentalist’s padded cell. There’s just something putridly unappealing about the combination of bland acoustic guitar and paternally-centered lyrics that seem to desperately scream ‘I’M A SENSITIVE GUY, LOVE ME!’. A stinker from Britain’s ‘hottest’ artist.

2/10